I know many of my five loyal readers (or is it six now?) will think these are theoretical questions, so I will just tell you they aren't. Feel free to chime in. You can email me directly or comment here so more of us can have a conversation that includes more people.
How many times do you try to make friends with someone before you quit?
How many times to you try to get included in an activity or conversation before you stop?
How many times do you let someone excuse themselves because they just HAVE to do something (and possibly even name what it is) to find them talking to somebody else for quite some time after that? So you know they haven't made time for you, but they have made time for this other person... and you even come back over two hours later and they are just chatting...
When you are in close proximity to people that won't let you in but keep posting on their blogs to "come join our community", what do you do?
Yes, I know it is highly possible that they don't know they are being exclusive, but I don't know if that ever makes it feel any better to the person (or people, really) who has been excluded...
Can you just put a sign on your head that says, "Hi, I'm socially awkward and I could really use your help"? In our smart-a** society, would anyone take it seriously?
These are just some of the things a person can ask herself (or his-self) after getting stood up for an appointment to go canoeing or getting brushed off a few too many times in one day.
I am of the firm opinion that one should try, and often, but I also believe that enough is enough.
How many times do you let someone suggest that maybe you should just go spend some "alone time" (wouldn't you know if you needed time alone?) so that they can go give their attention to somebody else?
Emily Post and Miss Manners have covered how to be polite. But I would like someone (who actually knows the answers) to tell all of those of us who are Socially Awkward how much to try before we can say that it wasn't our fault if we didn't make friends. I want it for me. I want it for the girl I know is hiding in her room right now because her social anxiety has maxed her out (that is not me). I want to know for the admittedly shy lady who is sitting a few feet away from me, wistfully watching the little group of ladies who have been out on the porch laughing for quite some time now.
Tell us how many times we need to have somebody refuse to put their name on our dance card before we can go hide in the bathroom for the next activity.
Tell us how to react to the people who did not offer us the dignity of listening to our piece of writing after we had listened to theirs. Scary things deserve support, I think. But I could be wrong. But the very night after our speaker says to give grace with our listening...
These are the things that can weigh heavy on the mind as the shadows of a day are getting long and another "art project" has gone wrong.
How many times?
I have to go find somebody to sit next to me at dinner now, but I would love to have some of your answers when I come back.