There and Back Again - Father

When I was a child, I was very shy. I do not recall there being a reason - I was just a little nervous and withdrawn. When I was out in public, I stuck fairly close to my Mom, or some other family member if she was not available. I remember hearing the words "clingy" and "scaredy cat" connected to my name. I hated the labels, but that was not enough to cure me of being bashful.

One Sunday after church, I got separated from Mom and my brother. I could not remember where the car was parked, so I decided that I had better hang on to Dad's hand while we were in the large crowd that had meandered out into the foyer. We stood in one place for a few minutes while Dad talked to some other men. I was not much taller than knee-level on most adults at that point, so the scenery was not great. I was getting tired of counting the buttons on suit coats and I looked up at Dad to ask if we could go. That was when the fear really hit me. This man who held my hand in his was not my Dad. Where was Dad? Why was this man wearing the same suit as Dad? How did I get switched up like that? How was I going to find anyone I recognized?

There and Back Again - Grab Bag

Things are not as they should be with me. Things are not as they should be in my marriage. Things are not as they should be in my family. I am worn down from it all and filled with sorrow. Below is what I prepared last night, but I am adding this beginning paragraph this morning in order to tell you that I covet your prayers. I would beg for them if I had the energy. Big or small - any prayer would be greatly appreciated. And please still go and visit the bloggers I've listed in this post. I think you will like them.

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I am under the weather and without much energy. I almost cried at the thought of having to write a post, which is odd for me. But I so did not want to miss out on "There and Back Again". So instead of writing coherently about the blog posts of others, I am simply going to direct you to those blog posts.

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There and Back Again - Unfinished

It's late in the day to be starting a blog post. I have not felt well and each time I have thought of writing, something in me just recoils. I don't know if I am experiencing rebelliousness or my attitude problems about other things are creeping into my writing. I would have just let it go, but I keep remembering that I had already started the process for There and Back Again, and if I did not write, it would be one more thing unfinished.

I might as well confess: I am royalty amongst The Unfinishers. There is so much that is unfinished in my life. Without even spending much time to inventory, I can think of these unfinished things:

There and Back Again - Grief

I want to draw a picture for you. I want to show you what this hole in my life looks like. It is similar to the astronomical phenomenon of a black hole. It threatens to pull everything around it into its total darkness.

I want to find a way for you to hear what I hear. The rushing wind that seems to come from behind me. It pushes me towards this black hole. Shhh... can you hear it? It whistles a lonesome noise as if it has been devoid of companionable solace forever. 

I want to grab your hand. I want to ask you to form a human chain holding hands. Grab hold of something solid and hold on so that you can keep me from being forced by this tempest into the dark nothingness.

I want you to know of my fear. This fear that is so strong it brings on physical reactions - near to fainting sometimes. What I fear is that if I get pushed into this blackness there will not be any way back.

Source

Samplings

Here are a few things that might be of interest to you today.

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For the past nine weeks I've been writing my column called Second Chances Wednesdays as part of the Never Beyond project. Don't worry. We are not through with Never Beyond, but People of the Second Chance took a break this week to show off a new project called "Labels Lie". You can check out some information about it and even watch a video of Mike Foster's inaugural Labels Lie speech by clicking here.  Next week we will be back with another bright red poster and more questions about never being beyond the reach of grace.

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Some of you might remember that I recently took part in a Community Writing Project called Word Portraits. I wrote about my Granny. Today some of the stories that were submitted for the project are being featured over at The High Calling. You can check them out here. You can also find links to all thirty-two submissions here. I really did enjoy this project. It made me wish that we had recorded more of our family's stories before so many of our relatives were gone. It also showed me what rich histories we all have. I think anyone who thinks life is boring just needs to spend more time with family!

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The Community Writing Project has also inspired me to write down some of my stories - my memories - before I forget important and interesting details. With inspiration from Dan King, also known as the Bible Dude, I have decided to start with stories about the mission trip to Uruguay that I went on in 1998. I'm thinking I will start a Sunday series on that and see how far it goes. In the meantime, I would urge you to start reading Dan's e-book The Unlikely Missionary. Follow that link and go to the bottom of the page where you can buy the book in Kindle, Nook, or PDF versions for only $4.99. (In the interest of disclosure, Dan might give me a free copy if I write a whole post about the book, but I am pumping it up right now just because I feel it is worth the effort.) Maybe you will find that you are a missionary right in your hometown. I would love to hear what you think of it.

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In other news, there are two blog posts that came out today that I think you might benefit from or enjoy. Tamara posted over at A Deeper Story about going to the theater vs. going to a woman's conference. You can read that here. Sarah Markley post on her own blog about not being embarrassed of yourself. You can check that out here.

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Those are your samplings for today. I hope you enjoy them. And in the words of Bartles and Jaymes, "Thank you for your support!"

On Going to a Writers' Retreat - Part 2

I'm sitting here trying to keep the puppies from feeling ignored (they make me pay when I leave them for a few days). Getting coherent thoughts is a little hard. The question everyone has been asking me is, "how was the Writers' Retreat?" I'm trying to keep all those thoughts together in one place before moving on to the next thing in life, but it is hard. Hubby and I are supposed to be having dinner tonight with a friend who is in from New York. The pauses are just not long enough sometimes.

There isn't enough space on this blog to tell you about the whole event. I could write a post just about Laity Lodge and the wonderful staff there. I could write another post just about my roommate and the things we have in common. Another essay could cover the way Kathy Hastings made artists out of a group of non-artists. I think I could go on and on about how wonderful it was to see water - the Frio River - while the rest of my life is affected by horrible drought, burn bans, and huge fires. I could produce a good five paragraphs about the way we all worshiped together every morning. And even more... I think you will have to email me your questions if I don't cover what you want to know about. There is just so much... let me see what I can give you now.

Photos From The Writers' Retreat at Laity Lodge

I promise! The post on my experience at the Writers' Retreat is coming! But it is going to be about four pages long as it is, so I thought I would show you the photos in a separate post. There will be some links in this post, so definitely follow them and "meet" some of the amazing people that were part of my weekend. I think I could write a small book about the whole experience just because it was so FULL. A full human experience. What more can you ask for?

First a little scenery...

Many of us ended up taking pictures in front of that amazing fountain. I caught a photo of others participating in the ritual.

I was waiting for somebody and I ended up messing around with the camera. This is my only "still life" photo of the scenery that made the cut. 

This is some of the dabbling I was doing at the fully stocked art studio. The artist in residence for our retreat, Kathy Hastings, made everything so easy to learn and play with. I wish I could just go to an art workshop with her for a weekend. That statement comes from someone who does not identify as a visual artist in any way, so take it for what it is worth!

Claire, Amy, Cyn, Cathy, and Lily working on new watercolor techniques. THAT was fun!

Now let's "meet" some people...

My First Giveaway

Yes, I am having a giveaway! Despite what you see in the cheesy-but-cute picture above, I will not be giving away a bouquet and hatbox. I just could not resist that 1950s-looking girl. It's possible that I might have watched too much Happy Days when I was growing up.

So what am I giving away? A book, of course!

One of the many lovely people that I was privileged to meet at The High Calling's Writers' Retreat this past weekend was author and Managing Editor at THC, L.L. Barkat. To learn more about her, you can find her here, here, and here, among other places.

I found one of her books in the lovely little bookstore that Laity Lodge has onsite, and she was generous enough to sign it for me - or you, really. I did have her sign it in pink ink, which seemed appropriate for my first giveaway.

The book is called Stone Crossings: Finding Grace in Hard and Hidden Places. You can read a review of it here.

 

How does one go about entering my first little giveaway contest? I thought about giving the book to the first reader who mails me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; but then I realized that with those tiny communal mailboxes we have in our neighborhood that could be a problem. My neighbors probably don't want jelly dripping down into their mail (even though that might improve the quality of some of the mail they get).

So it looks like we might have to use a more boring method of choosing a winner. Therefore, to enter to win the book, please leave a comment on this post. If you are one of our "lurkers", we would be pleased to have you introduce yourself. And if any of you would like to add a short joke to your comment (not necessarily a joke about being short), that would inject some fun into the process. Oh, and no matter how many comments you leave, it will just be one entry per person.

The deadline for entry comments will be midnight CST on Wednesday, October 5, 2011. On Thursday I will count the number of entries and then using the True Random Number Generator from Random.org a winner will be chosen!

I will be writing more about my experience at the Writers' Retreat later this week, so stay tuned for details.

Happy commenting!


* I am not receiving any compensation for promoting L.L. Barkat's book beyond a smile and a "thank you".

On Joining A Community

I have been dreading writing this post and I've had a hard time pinpointing why. I think I have come up with an answer. I hope.

Some of my "five loyal readers" might remember at the beginning of the month when I posted that The High Calling was hosting a contest for free registration to their Writers' Retreat. To enter the contest, you had to be a member of The High Calling community. Registration is easy, so I did that. Then you had to write a blog post about why you need to be at that retreat, which I did. They also suggest that one should display The High Calling badge on their blog. Thankfully, I'm proficient enough to make that happen on my blog. I followed the rest of the instructions on sharing my blog post to enter the contest. Voila! I was done.

The contest winner was announced the following day (I had waited until the very last minute to join). The winner - whose name I think is Kathy - is from the same area I live in. I'll have to catch up with her now that I know she exists! Even though I did not win the contest, several lovely people made it possible for me to go to the Writers' Retreat. In fact, I'm leaving in a few hours for the retreat and I am nervous, excited, and nervous. Or is it excited, nervous, and excited? I'm not sure...

On Going to a Writers' Retreat

The first time I heard about The High Calling, I was listening to talk radio on an AM station in Corpus Christi, TX. I heard the warm voice of a man - I found out it was Howard E. Butt, Jr. - telling stories in little clips about living well. I sat up a little straighter in my seat while driving each time I heard his voice after that. Growing up in south Texas, you learn to listen when somebody with that name speaks. I grew up going to the Butt family's groceries stores - H.E.B. - and still shop there today. They have a history of success and community involvement, so I appreciate their input. I always meant to go to the website to see what Mr. Butt was talking about, but by the time I got out of the car, I would forget. Sure did love those radio spots, though.

Today, through a link to a link to a link (you know how that goes, right?), I found out that today is the last day of a contest that The High Calling is having a contest (look here) to send one person to their Writers' Retreat at the end of September. This is not just any ol' retreat, my friends. According to the website, "This year’s Laity Lodge Writer’s Retreat instructors are each experts in their field. Greg Wolfe edits Image Journal. Jeffrey Overstreet has won two Christy Awards for his fiction. Julia Kasdorf was awarded a 2009 NEA fellowship for poetry. And that is just a taste of what you can expect. Several editors from Christianity Today will also be at the retreat, as well as TheHighCalling.org editors and others." So for a beginner like me, this would be hitting the jackpot right at the start of my journey.