My Best Friend

I've never been a truly healthy person. All kinds of minor infections and malaise when I was younger. (hasn't changed much as an adult) So it was no surprise that during Spring Break my Junior year in high school, I was home sick. (yay me) Debbie decided to drop by, and she brought this lovely new creature (she glowed a little more than the rest of us, so I can't just say "person"), Elizabeth, with her. We talked for a little while. Found out that Elizabeth lived across the street from my ex-boyfriend (who I was still on good terms with). We figured out that she would be turning 15 the day before I turned 17. Debbie would be 17 a few days after that and we all decided that it was good to be an August baby. The next week I needed (in a teenager "need" kinda way) to go pick something up from the mall. The rest of my friends were busy, so I went by Elizabeth's house to see if she wanted to come along. She was thrilled that I had thought of her and her Mom said it was good. So started a long relationship.

That was 26 years ago. Elizabeth and I have gone through a lot with each other. I can safely say that we've gone through a lot because of each other. We have grown apart and grown back together. We have treated each other badly and we have learned how to show each other respect. Our tears have mingled on many occasions. I feel joy when she is happy more keenly than with any other person (even my beloved Hubby). I am tied to her with a cord that she has probably wanted to cut a few times. We have become part of each other's families and will always have a connection. We don't talk to each other every day or every week. Sometimes our lives are so busy that a month or more goes by without a call or email. But that does not change the nature of our relationship. It is good to have someone who completely understands the lack of communication but still loves as if the gap never happened.

One of the things that I appreciate most about Elizabeth is that she is completely biased in my favor, but she sees the real me. There are probably people who know just enough about me to think I am witchy, but I don't spend time around them. There are other people who see my good side regularly and think that is all there is to it. Elizabeth sees the deep extremes of my personality and loves me still. And this makes a difference in how she treats me.

I sometimes will tell people, "I don't treat my husband very well." Since I don't hang around the people who think badly of me, I don't get much agreement. But I do get people telling me, "oh I'm sure you treat him well - you are just being hard on yourself." Elizabeth believes me. She knows me well enough to know that  I would mistreat a person who lived with me all of the time. But she does not judge me or berate me. She just looks at me and says, "well stop doing that." I love that.

I think... I think God uses her to love me. God sees all of me and loves me still. He knows that I need something a little more tangible sometimes to understand these things. So He lets Elizabeth see all of me and she loves me still.

Ticket to come out to California for my birthday: $520 (didn't buy 21 days ahead of time). Texas gifts for whole family: $50. Friend who loves the whole me: Priceless.

Thoughts Late in a Day

It has been a long 24 hours. There was drama in the extended family that made for a late night yesterday. We are hoping that the storm has passed. Sometimes it is just like being in the eye of a hurricane - it will come and hit you again once the eye has moved on. We pray for relief, but damage has already been done. Have mercy, Lord Jesus.

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I have yet to do all my packing for my trip. Tomorrow I will fly to California to see my best friend Elizabeth. She is really more like a sister. Elizabeth was very much my parents' "third daughter". She was always introduced as such. She had her own room at our house until my parents downsized and moved. She had a stocking that we hung up at Christmas. She was in the family picture at my wedding. We have shared as sisters. We have fought and made up as sisters. We have faced life's struggles as sisters.

This trip is important for so many reasons. Elizabeth's birthday is tomorrow and mine is Saturday. We haven't been able to celebrate with each other in years. This will also be our first birthday without Mom. All of these "firsts" are so hard. Elizabeth was in the midst of a horrible bout of post-partum depression when Mom was sick, so she didn't get to come say goodbye. She didn't come to the funeral. She missed out on the rituals that go with losing a loved one. I will be taking her a suitcase full of mementos that were left for her. We will look at each of them and remember. We will probably cry a little. We will share gratitude for having been blessed with such a loving Mother. I might cry a little bit more.

This trip is also important because it will be my first chance to meet Elizabeth's first child - a baby boy born at the end of last December. He already has some teeth and I've never held him! I've been missing out! Hopefully he will have some wiggly cuddles for Auntie Carolyn. I will have plenty of smooches for him! God was gracious to send him to us.

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Last year when I was having a hard time, my dear, dear friend Amy Peterson (make sure Eric sees how I wrote your name, Amy - inside joke) started sending me text messages at 4pm every day. Each text was meant to have me focus on God. I saved a few quotes and made a computer desktop screen out of them. They are still relevant and so I thought I would share them with you.

A) To-Do list: God is good ALL the time. He has a plan for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Pray for faith to own this truth.


B) Take just a minute. You are right where God needs you to be. He knows what He is doing.


C) Rejoice when life sucks. Don't get stuck in this moment. You owe God better than a pouty lip. Ask Him for the faith it takes to choose joy.


D) To do list: 1) lean not on your own understanding, but trust in the Lord your God who alone can redeem you.


E) You did not make it into God’s Kingdom by clerical error. You are here because He invited you and He intends to use you.


F) In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Every action was deliberate. No brush stroke an error. If you’re here, it’s on purpose.

Feel free to share these quotes liberally if they might help someone. Just please make sure to credit Amy PETERSON.  One of these days she is going to start paying attention again to her own blog and I will send you over there to bathe in her wisdom.

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That is all for now, my lovelies. Blessings upon you all.