Twice in the past week the subject of a woman saying no, meaning no, and having her answer respected has come up in conversation. I do think women need to be responsible for themselves and not recklessly put themselves in dangerous situations. But "no" should still always mean "no". I've met men who don't think that "no" should be a valid answer. I've met men who always respect "no" and so do not understand why this is a cause of concern for women. I'm sure there are even more viewpoints out there that I haven't heard.
The only thing I can tell you for sure is where I stand on the subject. Women do not ask to be raped. Even believing that God created gender roles is no excuse for violence - sexual or otherwise - against women. "No" should always mean "no". "No" is a complete sentence. More people should learn to say it and more people should learn to accept it.
It just needed sayin'...
PS. If you want to read a recent male viewpoint on women's empowerment, you can read David Nilsen's review of the movie Sucker Punch here. Could be an interesting conversation starter.
such a clever yet poignant sign. I do think all people hold some responsibility for their impact on others, we of course can't predict every assumption and perception. What I mean is some women could probably afford to cover up some more, but in no way would I ever blame her for "inspiring" a rape. Good post.
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Charlie. Yes, I agree that women would benefit from not putting themselves in dangerous situations, and for reasons not even related to this post, I think many of them could stand to cover up some flesh. When I was in college (the second time), there were several rapes on our campus, quite close to the dorm I lived in. The girls I hung out with and I formed a buddy system for going around campus at night. It was a suggestion that we took to keep each other safe. However, if there had been a girl walking alone in that area that ended up getting raped, I would not have thought to blame her because "she had been warned". Unfortunately, there were people who thought that way. There are all kinds of crimes where people like to blame the victim, but rape is one of the big ones.
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