Sunday, August 21, 2011

My Best Friend

I've never been a truly healthy person. All kinds of minor infections and malaise when I was younger. (hasn't changed much as an adult) So it was no surprise that during Spring Break my Junior year in high school, I was home sick. (yay me) Debbie decided to drop by, and she brought this lovely new creature (she glowed a little more than the rest of us, so I can't just say "person"), Elizabeth, with her. We talked for a little while. Found out that Elizabeth lived across the street from my ex-boyfriend (who I was still on good terms with). We figured out that she would be turning 15 the day before I turned 17. Debbie would be 17 a few days after that and we all decided that it was good to be an August baby. The next week I needed (in a teenager "need" kinda way) to go pick something up from the mall. The rest of my friends were busy, so I went by Elizabeth's house to see if she wanted to come along. She was thrilled that I had thought of her and her Mom said it was good. So started a long relationship.

That was 26 years ago. Elizabeth and I have gone through a lot with each other. I can safely say that we've gone through a lot because of each other. We have grown apart and grown back together. We have treated each other badly and we have learned how to show each other respect. Our tears have mingled on many occasions. I feel joy when she is happy more keenly than with any other person (even my beloved Hubby). I am tied to her with a cord that she has probably wanted to cut a few times. We have become part of each other's families and will always have a connection. We don't talk to each other every day or every week. Sometimes our lives are so busy that a month or more goes by without a call or email. But that does not change the nature of our relationship. It is good to have someone who completely understands the lack of communication but still loves as if the gap never happened.

One of the things that I appreciate most about Elizabeth is that she is completely biased in my favor, but she sees the real me. There are probably people who know just enough about me to think I am witchy, but I don't spend time around them. There are other people who see my good side regularly and think that is all there is to it. Elizabeth sees the deep extremes of my personality and loves me still. And this makes a difference in how she treats me.

I sometimes will tell people, "I don't treat my husband very well." Since I don't hang around the people who think badly of me, I don't get much agreement. But I do get people telling me, "oh I'm sure you treat him well - you are just being hard on yourself." Elizabeth believes me. She knows me well enough to know that  I would mistreat a person who lived with me all of the time. But she does not judge me or berate me. She just looks at me and says, "well stop doing that." I love that.

I think... I think God uses her to love me. God sees all of me and loves me still. He knows that I need something a little more tangible sometimes to understand these things. So He lets Elizabeth see all of me and she loves me still.

Ticket to come out to California for my birthday: $520 (didn't buy 21 days ahead of time). Texas gifts for whole family: $50. Friend who loves the whole me: Priceless.


  1. Thank you so much for sharing her with us. Heck for sharing you with us!!

    I'm a runner. Fearful most of my life of.....myself, and what those who were in my life at the time would think of me. I don't have a 26 year friendship to speak of. I have many friendships I walked away from and those that were over before they really began.

    This process God has me in right now, it's in going back. A road I never intended to venture on. Funny how He does that to us, eh? I follow Him into this dark and uncharted territory because something deep within me tells me it's for my own good, the good of those who will see me there and God's glory. I'm learning I don't get much say or glory. I just tag along, even when I'd rather just go back to bed and forget!

    I'm super glad for your time with your friend!

  2. I can relate to your story about your best friend. I, too, have one of those. I am so blessed to have her. I know God brought her into my life because He knew I needed to see and know what unconditional love looked like on a human level. Something I never had.

    My best friend and I were always together...both struggling to find our identity in Christ. And I believe God moved us apart so that we could both grow and mature in Him. Having to rely on Him and not each other. Yet, our friendship is as strong as ever. And like you, we may not talk every week, and yes, sometimes even months...but we pick right back up again as if we were never apart.

    Thanks for sharing your heart and your story with us. God is so good!!

  3. I'm with Bek on this one. I haven't had a 28 year best friend relationship. Truth is I have the "they come and they go"... relationships. It has been a hard pill for me to swallow at times. Scattered throughout the years though are women who have loved me as I am...

    What a gift to have such history with each other. You get to watch each other transform into what is truest about you. Such a beautiful gift....

    Thanks for sharing a bit more of your story!! I pray your time together is filled to overflowing...


  4. Elizabeth is an anomaly in my friendship life. I have not been close to very many people for lengths of time except for her. Hard time forming bonds. The internet age is allowing me to reconnect in some places, but I still have few friends where I live that I can just "hang" with and share my daily life. In fact, one of those kinda dropped me like a hot potato the other day. Of all the nerve... ;)

  5. I have an Elizabeth. Except her name is Robin. We've only been friends for thirteen years so far but that's long enough to know her heart.

    It's peaceful to know that someone will believe you when you tell them the bad stuff.

    She makes sure I think about what I am doing, only gives advice when asked and doesn't get mad when I don't take it. And, in the end, she's always on my side.

    She makes me think. She loves me just the way I am. She is a gift from God.

    Thanks for reminding me :-) I'll remind her how special she is to me right now.


  6. Hi, Margaret! I'm so glad that you have Robin. And I'm glad you are going to remind her how special she is. Be appreciated it highly underrated!



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